Exclusive AZ Rants

Exclusive stuff that you can not find on myspazz
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Feel free to browse

I don't write on this site much anymore and sadly, it's mostly due to the fact that I only have a couple of people who are still haunting its corpse and I just don't want to deal with their bullshit.

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Lucky Girl

Pfffft.

Wish I didn't care. Caring takes so much energy. And it makes things all hurty and confusing.

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B... you've been busy

I have been having a lot of ups and downs lately.

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Surprise, surprise, surprise

Why bother trying to do anything nice if your motivation is going to be suspect and scrutinized.

Why act from the heart if people question if you even had one to begin with.

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I'm Dizzy and I Wanna Get Off this Ride

Back in August, we took Liv to Six Flags Magic Mountain for the first time.

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Transitional Periods: aka So I don't want to kill you, I want to help you

OK, stop me if you've heard this one before...

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The Duality of Self Loathing

I believe that it's healthy to hate yourself to a degree. Big shocker, coming from the girl who's a confessed chronic depressive.

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The One I Threw Away

Hmm. I've been really tempted to write mad today, really rant like the old days.

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Another Day...

Yesterday didn't make much sense. Well, the day was alright but the post sucked balls, figuratively speaking.

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Whack-A-Zara

For such a supposedly smart chick, I'm pretty fucking dense.

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Rationality is for Chumps: aka I'm Zara, Have We Met?

*cracking knuckles*

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I finally made the list

Brandon had mentioned that I was on his "list" of things to get done. The bastard went and got a "real job" and has lately been really busy with doing stuff that actually gets him paid.

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Ouch

And the hits just keep on coming.

Quit. Please. Just quit. You don't owe me anything anymore and at this point you're just hurting me every time I have to see your face pop up.

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Put a bullet in me

Myspazz is promoting The Horrors.

Ain't that fucking cute? Seriously fucking shoot me. If you know why, you know why. If you don't, you don't.

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A teaser

The following is a brief, unedited portion of something that I've been working on.

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Please Don't

I'd deluded myself that I'd let it go.

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Good Mourning

There is no readmission
Once you step out the door
It no longer revolves
Nope, not anymore.

All or nothing
Let's play it your way
You placed your bet on nothing
And there it shall stay.

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I Don't Feel Like It

The writing, that is.

I'll get back around to it again sometime soon. I just need a spark to get me rolling. As for now, please feel free to peruse my older stuff when I was more motivated.

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I've been through the desert

... on a horse with no name.

OK, just had to get that out of my head.

I like to not think because normally I think far too much.

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Hush Little Baby

I've been quiet for a little while now, only doling out bits and pieces of what's going on with me or what's on in my head. I haven't meant to ignore anyone, but I feel as if I have been.

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Fuckity Fuck Fuck (Oh, and I'm fucking old to boot)

I shouldn't do this. But hell... that's never stopped me before.

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How to Subscribe Here and Get Notification of New Postings

A notification module has been set-up on this website that will allow you to receive notifications whenever there is a new post here on AwesomeZara.com.

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Scrapped Topic: Laziness Personified

I love being lazy. I love sitting in dirty, crumpled clothes that I was wearing the day before, watching DVDs for 8 hours straight and getting up only to fetch some food and drink or to use the bathroom. If I wasn't obligated to do anything, I wouldn't. Wealth would not provide me the opportunity to try out a lot of shit I hadn't done before. It would only serve to give me the money to travel somewhere else and sit on my ass there.

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Weak... soooooooo Weak!

This is the first time that I've felt more than 50% aware of my surroundings in the last 48 hours. I've been laid up with flu-like symptoms since a couple of hours after my radio show on Friday. (OK, so maybe that's not a full 48 hours)

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Oddly Enough

I've discovered that Steve Perry is emmensely effective in distracting me from the sad.

Go Steve Perry!

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[Title]

Hole in my heart
Ripped wide, bleeding dark.
Puncture my soul
Leave your permanent mark.

Make the sad stop. I thought it had gone away. But it's back and it won't shut up.

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Mindfuck

I think of him often.

Sometimes snatches of visions. Seeing his hands on my knees, running up the length of my thighs, parting my legs. He grins at me knowingly when he does this. I grin back in much the same fashion.

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Late Night Rambling (aka: Something I Probably Shouldn't Do)

I've never been a team player. I just don't play well with others. I did do the squad thing when I was in high school, but it was a personal challenge that I set for myself. One that I chose not to repeat after my initial year was up. I had my taste and was done with it.

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FUCK!! There are just some things that you're not suppose to do!

I have no privacy.

Not in my real life and not on Myspazz. It has been my choice in both of these areas to put myself in a position where I have no privacy, so I can't really whine about it, right?

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How to Fuck a Canuck (Unfinished)

"Tell me how you want me."

You look me up and down slowly. I love how your eyes speak volumes. There is so much hidden behind them, so many doors to unlock. We've only starting scratching the surface of what to do together. Between your imagination and my own, the possibilities are tantilizingly limitless.

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