Bang the Gavel

zara's picture

I was standing in line today at some (insert random retail name here) store, dressed as I normally am, simple t-shirt and jeans. There's really nothing all that spectacular about me. I blend in as much as people would assume that I stick out. The main thing that people notice (or try not to notice) are the tattoos behind my ears.

I've heard all different types of comments about them. People ask me if they're real (the color is extremely sharp, even more than a year after they were done), ask what the meaning behind them is and on occasion just try to touch me. The latter is the only thing that is guaranteed to irritate me. I don't wander up and randomly touch people, not even children like so many do. I err on the side of caution and assume that most people would kick the shit out of me for randomly placing my hands on them.

The whole reason why I decided to start this wasn't because I got touched today. The thing that was striking to me today wasn't even when I heard the, "Are those bananas?" comment. It probably wouldn't have even gotten to me when the woman followed that up with a "how weird!" statement.

The issue that I had was that when I turned around to fully address this person making mention of my unusual art, I saw a woman who had one arm completely covered in ink (for those not in the know, that's called a "sleeve") as well as some other visible tattoos ranging from the fronts of her shoulder blades to her hips.

Weird. My bananas and their placement behind my ears were weird for this woman who was clearly around 10 years younger than me and already 1/3 of the way towards being inked on the entirety of her body. This was weird to someone who had a labret piercing (that's the space directly below and in the center of your lip).

I could go into my reasoning why this was so strange to me. Point out that my bananas have a history and a meaning to them. Make mention that this woman's tattoos were flowers and those weird rockabilly birds that EVERY fucking chick who thinks she's cool because she googled "Bettie Page" on the internet has nowadays. I could defend myself against something that doesn't need to be defended.

Or I could just make mention of the fact that judgments are everywhere. People are always claiming that they aren't attracted to "judgmental" people. That they're not judgmental themselves. Everyone likes to give themselves a pat on the back and talk about how accepting they are of other people.

Everyone is full of bullshit.

I never claim to be loving and accepting of everyone. I don't honestly think that it's possible. And I don't think it's something that we should strive for. I think judgments are necessary in defining who we are as people and what we keep within our inner circles. Our judgments keep our children safe and our iPods free of music that we think is shitty. Our preconceived notions help to sink movies like HOSTEL 2 at the box office.

Being judgmental gets a bad rap. I'm not angry at the woman in the store for audibly proclaiming that my art was "weird." That's what helps to ensure that there's not some strange chick out there in this world striding into a parlor and asking to get some fruit placed on her body. Well, other than her stereotypical cherries. Because, you know, a body with birdies just isn't complete without some cherries and a pair of dice or two.

I've made a great deal of harsh judgments over the course of my life. Some of those have saved me from being used by friends, abused by men, or killed in a few different circumstances. My judgments have severed relationships, caused me financial strain and even broken my will on more than one occasion.

But my judgments have never ceased to deliver. Whether that was good or bad, there has always been a consequence dropped on my doorstep as a result of my judgment. A reminder that - yes! I do have a brain and it works quite nicely, thank you.

Think about that the next time someone calls you judgmental. Think about it and smile. Then take a sniff and see if you smell bananas.

Comments

Eulalie_Cholmondeley's picture

Bananas

What do your bananas mean? I saw a person the other day who had tattoos behind her ears similiar to yours...not bananas. For a second I thought it might be you. I would have said Hello. the woman had a flower and humming bird behind her ears. So I said nothing..

So what do the bananas mean? I am curious

Eulalie

zara's picture

Meaning =

That I'm "bananas." Crazy in the head... so they're on the head. Plus there's the devil and angel aspect of the conscience.

Eulalie_Cholmondeley's picture

Bananas

I don't think you are crazy.
Did you draw the bananas yourself and have the tattoo artist copy the design?

How is your summer so far? New York is different in the summer. I keep myself smothered in sun screen and I wear a hat. as you might know the sun isn't very friendly to girls with white skin and red hair.

kiki's picture

So...I think...

that I'm going to go get a tribal armband, and cherrys right on my pelvis, and a tear drop below my eye, and something flowery and tribal accenting my ass.

How many more cliched tats can a person have? Any ideas?

*rolls eyes*

Baaaaaaaa. Baaaa.

jomadd's picture

ooooohh tramp stamp, "might

ooooohh tramp stamp, "might as well be a target"
That is why I dont have any. I have been drawing on myself since I was a kid, and I love needles. I should either be a smack junkie or covered in ink or both. Alas, there just isnt anything I care enough about or like enough to have memorialized on my flesh. Huh, just more proof of a life well wasted.......

JIm's picture

Fuck the assumptions... in the ass for that matter.

You can think whatever you want. I do.
I'm a drinker by trade. A raging alcoholic from hell and I know I said and did some pretty heavy shit when I was. "Recovery" is a bullshit term because you get stereotyped right off the bat. I never killed anyone. I was just a pain the ass when I drank and its hard for some people to overcome their addictions but when they do, you get twice the person you expected. Thats all it is.

People get touchy around drunks and addicts who got their shit straight. Assumptions fly everywhere. Half my friends list is everyone from run of the mill tea-totalling housewives to full blown heroin addicts. But we are people who wanted to get they're shit together and nailed it.

My life is 4 fold after I quit my drinking, but some people just think they have to walk on eggshells just to have a fucking beer around me.

I kinda know who you are, Z. Your old blogs showed it. Just because you have bananas behind your ears doesn't give people the right to start spouting off. I personally would have told that bitch to go, and I'm quoting YOU, "take your assumptions and fuck yourself in the ass with them". I don't have time for that shit. Why should you?

Hug the midget.
Luvyabye.

Budo7's picture

From one to another

Could not have said it better. I fucking hate being around folks who start freaking out, cause I am around and they want to drink.
I no longer give a shit about drinking. Desire was removed, so I tell everyone around me drink all you like. Family is the worst.

SimplySam's picture

Ahhh..."judgment"

If there were no judgment in the world, what would we have to challenge us or inspire us to be better individuals? Or to protect ourselves from the creeps that enter our lives? So ya, for someone to say the NEVER judge others? I say bullshit as well.

There does however, come a time when I feel I know enough to really care for a person at their core, and it is then that I believe "conditional" judgment should cease and love and/or friendship should be offered unconditionally.

We all go through changes as we grow and mature, but it sure is comforting to know the ones you care about the most will care about you back...especially during those times when we are being a dumbass-which, being human, we ALL do. I am real good at making mistakes, being a bitch and pissing my friends and loved ones off.

Who wants to feel they are going to be abandoned by those they care so much about when they make a mistake? I prefer a slap upside the head, even a hard one if necessary, to being abandoned for my (hopefully) temporary stupidity.

W.C. Fields said

"I am free of all prejudice, I hate everyone equally."

jomadd's picture

Blink! It is nature. You can

Blink!
It is nature.
You can only hide who you are for so long.
Nature will out.
Your instincts, your gut, your intuitions are all judgements. It is there to keep you "safe" or not. What ever you decide.

As for the those who feel compelled to share with others who do not seek it out, I have only this to say: "Been around the world and found that only stupid people are breeding, the cretins cloning and feeding, and I dont even own a t.v."..........Harvey Danger.......
Darwin was right, if we could only let it happen. Thin the herd people.

dawn61036's picture

Everyone does it. First

Everyone does it.

First impressions, snap judgements, etc. Everyone does it....just some people don’t say it aloud. You first meet someone and I guarantee you make some sort of a judgement about them. You hear something about someone and you make a type of judgement about him or her, maybe even before you may have met them.

Your initial judgement can change once you get to know someone though. Maybe for the better, maybe for the worse.

The way you dress, if you’re inked, the color of your skin, the style of your hair, the way you walk, the people you are around...these are all things that can help people make their initial judgement about us/you.

It doesn’t make us bad to make judgements upon people. It’s a part of human nature. Who said all judgements had to be negative anyhow?

I saw a study on this sort of thing once. Like how people think all Asian men are super smart. All African American men have huge dicks. And that all White men can’t dance. Then they took some Harley guys and put them in business suits and sent them to Sturges (in SD) with a group of gay businessmen wearing chaps. Guess who got excepted first??? The businessmen ofcoarse, even though in reality they really didn’t fit in as well.

It’s a part of human nature to judge people or to think that you know them when you really don’t.

Peace Love & many Smiles...Dawn

It's all relative.

It seems the social stigma about judgment is based on the Biblical reference. I don’t think it’s a condemnation of judgment so much as a warning that “what goes around comes around.” There’s a difference in consequence between using discernment to make good choices and using it carelessly or harmfully.

The consequences aren’t only external ...

Old man: Sometimes I feel like there are two wolves fighting inside me; one is good and one is bad.

Boy: Which one will win, Grandfather?

Old man: The one I feed.
shaman312

Morals

When some sucker (thats you babe, no... not You) talks about morals in some way, and you start reading between the lines, it always boils down to a rewriting of "I am better then you", or a claim for "I m inside", and someone else is "outside". Its part of our sosial wiring perhaps....

Now try this. Everytime you have to are unsecure of a weakness. Like if you feel stupid. Call someone else stupid. This will divert the attention to THEM instead. :D

Heres a list of thing *I* call other people:

And when you tired of it all? allways try to apply a theory to itself :D And move on.

lrk1977's picture

Good people don't judge -

That is what I was taught at an early age - "Do not judge, lest ye be judged yourself." I have learned that in some ways that is a load of crap. I am constantly being judged - as a mother, as an employee, as a woman, as a wife, etc. Because I was raised that way, I am essentially crippled. I fail to analyze people or look for how they are going to screw me over. Typically, I see the good and overlook the bad. I hate being the look for the rainbow on a cloudy day type person, but I am that person to the core of my being. So, no matter how hard I try, I fail to see the evil or bad that will eventually bite me in the ass. *sigh*

If there was one thing I could learn from you, Z it would be to better understand people and be able to judge what kind of person they are. Unfortunately, I fail miserably at that. I hate appearing weak and helpless, but when it comes to people, I feel like a helpless chick that has fallen from the nest - waiting to see who is going to pick me up, who is going to walk over me, who will step on me, etc. Gay analogy, I know - it's one of those days - fuck, it's been one of those months.

Lesley from Minnesota :)

zara's picture

But babe... you ARE judging.

But babe... you ARE judging. You're just giving everyone the benefit of being positively judged from the get-go. Some people are always negatively judging people (those who claim that people need to "prove" themselves to them) and some people just sit back and watch a person and then give them their judgment, positive or negative.

I'd like to believe that I'm in that third category, that I at least give everyone a fair shot, but I honestly have preconceived beliefs about certain stereotypes. I'm not saying I'm perfect, imperfect or anything else. I'm just being honest about who I am. So are you.

And I hear you on the month thing. Trust me, I really do.

lrk1977's picture

Well, I am tired of being me then!

It fucking sucks! ;)

I don't get people. I don't understand why people just can't be honest - it's fucking easier than lying! RAWR!

Okay, sorry - someone call the wwaaaammmbulance! *sigh*

I respect how you observe people and I will admit that you see things coming 10 miles away. I don't see it till I have been ran over by it.

Lesley from Minnesota :)

Budo7's picture

Judge all the time

I do it, can't help it, plus its fun. However I try not to judge my friends, nor do I let me assumptions (thats what my judgments really are) get in the way of meeting some folks. Now if I see a person with a Gun and he looks pissed, well I am not going out of my way to meet him. Some judgments are for safety :)

On side note for women on the pill, please read all you can about it, cause it's a fact it cause's cancer, and cancer is hard to beat. Not passing a judgment here, I just do not like cancer since I have it, btw Not from the pill. lol since I am a guy.
Very stoned today from my meds.

Z keep writing when you can.

zara's picture

If they're your friends,

If they're your friends, you've already judged them. You've decided that they're worthy of having around. That's a judgment.

And you might end up getting cancer even if you live the most ardently healthy lifestyle. No need to instill panic in people over something which has an extremely low rate of that side effect.

Budo7's picture

Please Z for your on good

Check the facts on the pill. I have oral cancer from years of abuse of my own body, So I get to sit in the doctors offices and read a lot about the different kinds of cancer, and what causes them.

giorgina's picture

Judgements

When someone passes judgement because they feel they are better than you, I get annoyed. That's the type of judgement I don't like. Yes, I'm trying to be a better person and all that and try not to judge, but I do so. Yet I don't do it because I believe I am better than anyone else. Yet those who judge me and my life choices because they think they're better than me? The can get fucked.

I, of course, also hate people who judge my spirituality. Like one stupid bitch who told me I wasn't a 'proper' Catholic because I'm on the pill. First of all, none of your fucking business, second of all, none of your fucking business!

Sorry for the constant swearing, Z, I've been trying to cut down (why?) but it looks like it's spilled out here....
Giorgina Angela

zara's picture

You were fucking swearing?

You were fucking swearing? Really?

blackfire's picture

Bananas just mean you are fruity.

What others call being judgemental I call making conclusions based upon observations. We all do it, don't deny it. Some think your writing ain't shit, others think it is the shit. Either way, they are entitled to their own opinion, as am I. How I choose to form that opinion and whom I present it to is my business.

If I weren't so observant of my surroundings, I would probably be dead right now. And then everyone would wonder why you were being left comments by a dead guy. But enough about me, I'm dead, remember? Oh, wait, no I'm not, because I chose to be observant and make decisions based upon said observations. I judged people by how they dressed, how they walked, how they talked, what they said, how they looked at me with disgust in their eyes. I am alive because I judged these people and chose to defended myself. Recongition, people. Its not just for the penguins.

What do I think of folks with tattoos? Depends on the person. Some I like, some I don't, most I don't know. Am I going to think more or less of you because of your ink? Probably not. I will think less of you if you act like a douche though. Is that being judgemetal? Yep. Do I care? Not in the least. Because I can.

zara's picture

Potato, potatoe. Conclusions

Potato, potatoe. Conclusions are judgments. Judgments are conclusions. It's just different terminology. I think that people just get pissy over people making judgments that they either think are unfounded or that hit a little too close to home.

And the tattoo thing? As I proved above, I absolutely judge other people on their tattoos. I just don't judge them by thinking, "Ew, nasty tattooed person!" like my mom does. Instead, I have opinions on who they are based on their designs. Kinda like I have opinions on guys who drive big trucks and listen to Tobey Keith.

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