Can I Get a Little Fore or More Play?

So, you've decided that you want to escalate your flirting to another level and bring that person into your bedroom... or kitchen floor, or bathroom stall...whatever. You've decided that you're in the mood to do the bumping of the uglies.

Now begins the moment of foreplay.

What exactly IS foreplay? Commonly defined as sexual stimulation preceding intercourse, foreplay most often is seen as kissing, "petting" (fondling genital regions) and oral action.

For me, foreplay starts much sooner than that. I consider stimulating conversation as being the most important form of foreplay. If someone gets me worked up about a favorite subject of mine, either agreeing or debating points, my mind starts to work in overtime.

I'm a movie person. If you can bring up a movie that isn't common knowledge to the average movie goer and start talking about its deeper meaning, I'm all ears. Subsequently, I'll end up all hands, mouth and genitals later if you play your cards right. Don't discount my point of view if you disagree with me, but tell me in specific terms about how I'm wrong? You're cake.

Once my mind is working in its circles, now is the moment to step a little closer. Going right in for a kiss will elicit more of a response from me than pussyfooting around about it. I like the sudden swoop, arm around the waist or hand at the back of the neck, pulling me in, closing your mouth over mine as a means to shut me up. Who doesn't like to be surprised with a kiss?

Once there, it's important not to overwhelm with the kiss. Holding my head in both hands and laying one on me, then pulling back and studying my reaction. I've always liked knowing that something I did got the motor started, so I'll commonly step back and survey the reaction. Closed eyelids that slowly flutter open, a mouth that stays slightly parted, assuming it was going to get more. Mmmm... delicious.

I'm a big fan of making out. Sure, once you've discovered a person's likes and dislikes and have eliminated the need for too much bussing, you can cut back on the lip to lip play. But in the beginning, making out is an absolute must. I could easily spend hours doing this, wearing the skin around my face down to a tingling pulp from the friction of a man's facial hair or stubble.

While the kissing is going on, it's always a plus to see if you can take it to a reclined position. Stretched out over a couch, their body pressing its weight down into yours. Sheer bliss. Mild dry-humping angled just so is also an awesome addition.

If you're going to start running your hands over parts of my body, you might want to think about shifting the attention of your mouth to other place. If you really want to make me weak, go for the neck. I come close to orgasm if enough of the right attention is place on the soft skin between my jawline and shoulder. Hell, I defy a woman to tell me that this action DOESN'T work at getting her juices flowing.

I'm not a fan of pain, however. While a good nipple tweak can be in order, hard biting and wicked twisting will only cause me to yelp, and not in a positive way. Go light on the manipulation, but don't skip it. Just learn that a flinch from me is the key to let you know you're going at it too hard.

I am one of the blessed women who derives great joy from having my breasts and nipples licked and sucked. I understand that there are women out there who could care less, and I also recognize that Cosmo has been lying to us women that men enjoy this type of attention on their pectorals. But if you hold my breasts together firmly in your grasp and alternate the lapping of your eager tongue between lefty and righty, you're golden.

Oddly enough, once it starts to get into oral stimulation, that's when I consider the clock to be running. While many people consider these activities to be foreplay, I've always seen them more as the immediate precursor to intercourse. Of course oral attention is going to get you purring. It's the other things that matter more. Those things that aren't so blatant which spark the fireworks in the back of the brain.

Massages can be a wonderful form of foreplay as well. Feeling someone's warm and insistent hands gliding over your bare skin can be heavenly. Manual stimulation is far more tricky than oral, so men, when you use those fingers, think of them as dancing instruments, working the flesh over, molding it as you would clay to sculpt a masterpiece.

Women can learn to do the same thing. Working a man's penis with your hands is not a simple grip and jerk experience. Glide open palms over the skin, try squeezing lightly at the head more than tightly at the base. And for the love of all that is Awesome, stop neglecting the balls. Since you need to be a little more delicate with your touch, I can understand the hesitancy in dealing with them, but don't avoid them altogether. Simply look for clue in his facial expression to know when you've gone a little too rough and then dial back a notch.

All in all, I prefer more foreplay at the beginning of a relationship. I think everyone does. Once life steps in and you factor in time constraints and outside forces (Hi Midget!) that seem geared to doom your fun, the time you reserve for foreplay seems to get drastically cut back.

To which I say: You don't honestly NEED 8 hours of sleep a night, do you?

That, or just start talking in a Canadian accent. That does the trick for me every time.

Discussion of the Day:

How important is foreplay to you? What are some of your preferred methods of foreplay? Is there a certain time limit that needs to be assigned for foreplay to work its magic?

Or, even more interesting: Would you be willing to give up foreplay altogether if it meant having more sessions of intercourse? Or if you miss foreplay, would you be willing to dedicate time to it, knowing that intercourse would not come to fruition after it?