I AM This Girl

zara's picture

Enough with the "nice guy" and "nice girl" bullshit. We can kid ourselves all we want, but being willing to hold someone's hand or open a door for them just isn't going to cut it in today's world. We sorely need a more realistic list.

Guess who made one??? 



1. I am the kind of girl who will NOT repeatedly ask you "What are you thinking?" until you unsuccessfully attempt to provide the answer that I have pre-designated as correct.

2. I am the kind of girl who will NOT drag you shopping with me to buy shoes and then make you carry every bag from every store that I make a purchase at.

3. I am the kind of girl who will NEVER request that you hold my purse "for just a sec" and then disappear into a dressing room for 2 hours.

4. I am the kind of girl who will watch gory, disgusting or downright stupid movies with you and NEVER insist that you sit through some chick flick in return.

5. I am the kind of girl who will give you a blow job while you watch your favorite sports event on TV (keeping in mind to keep my head out of your line of vision).

6. I am the kind of girl who swallows 95 percent of the time, NOT just that initial encounter as a tactic to win you over.

7. I am the kind of girl who will say "Yeeeeeeeeah!" when you suggest pulling a destructive prank, and then sit in the car with the motor running for your quick get away.

8. I am the kind of girl who thinks you look hot in a t-shirt and jeans and will NEVER ask "Is that what you're wearing?" in a distainful tone.

9. I am the kind of girl who will give you ones for the strip bar. If you take me with you, I am the kind of girl who will buy you a lap dance.

10. I am the kind of girl who you will NEVER have to convince to watch porn with. I am the kind of girl who knows which adult production companies have the hottest actresses.

11. I am the kind of girl who knows the driving directions to just about everywhere and will NEVER drive 35 in a 50.

12. I am the kind of girl who understands that I only get to drive if you decide that you don't want to or are too drunk to.

13. I am the kind of girl who will NEVER ask "Do you know where you're going?"

14. I am the kind of girl who knows how to drive stick... and well.

15. I am the kind of girl who will NEVER expect roses, chocolate, balloons or stuffed animals for Valentine's Day and would much rather receive a vibrator or fuzzy handcuffs instead.

16. I am the kind of girl who will give you a handjob under the table at a fancy restaurant. I am also the kind of girl who will give you a handjob under the table at IHOP (or whatever cheesy place you prefer.)

17. I am the kind of girl who will let you sleep on your side of the bed and not insist to fall asleep cuddled up with you, thereby making your arm go dead from my head blocking its blood flow.

18. I am the kind of girl who will not stipulate who you can hang out with. In fact, I will probably get along better with your male friends than you do.

19. I am the kind of girl who thinks sex is the best way to end an argument.

20. I am the kind of girl who will NEVER insist that we spend more "quality time" together.

21. I am the kind of girl who will NEVER insist that you meet her mother. I will NEVER ask to meet yours.

22. I am the kind of girl who thinks scars are sexy and will trace them with my tongue but will never insist that you describe in detail how you got them.

23. I am the kind of girl who will NEVER insist that you buy her a $4 Coke at the movie theater, but will have a little "something" stowed away in her purse to partake in during our viewing pleasure.

24. I am the kind of girl who gives you directions on how to please her and will NOT lie and say I came when I didn't.

25. I am the kind of girl who is a little insane, but in the very best way.



If you are this kind of girl, repost with the title:

"I am this girl"

If you are looking for this kind of girl, repost with the title:

"I don't think you're for real, so I will constantly second-guess everything you do and say, attempting to find cracks in the facade until you go fully insane on me. I will not appreciate you until you are fed up with me and have blocked me from your messengers and filed a restraining order. I will be forever haunted by you, thus fucking up every other relationship I consequently have."

That, or:

"I want AwesomeZara."
 

Comments

amesomism!

you know, you should make up your own religion. seriously. i would go to zarachurch.

# 10 is questionable

I have to,(as a moral imperative), point out one incorrect usage of "proper definition" in the pornality dictionary. # 10 states and I quote,"I am the kind of girl who knows which adult production companies have the hottest actresses." Your incorrect usage, albeit a small infraction, is in the term,"Actresses". LMAO I luv ya baby!!!

Scott

I am half this girl...

I am only half of the woman you are, Zara... I am not a very sexual person...

.... But If I were a dude... I would want awesomezara...

Oh, forget being a dude! I WANT AWESOMEZARA!!!

YOU...................

are the woman for me, Zara, and I KNEW it before I ever got to know you through these blogs. You are the girl for me, period.

You and I would go together like and hand in glove, because I am the kind of guy who is very insane, and in the BEST way.

So, what company has the hottest adult actresses? Is it Vivid?

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