"It's sex with someone I love..."

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According to Wikipedia,  the word masturbation is believed by many to derive from the Greek word mezea (µe?ea, "penises") and the Latin turbare ("to disturb").

To disturb your penis. How perfectly apt.

I'd like to think that everyone on the planet masturbates. It might make me feel better over the fact that I do. Yet I once had an ex who claimed that there was no purpose to masturbation if he was with me. That if sex was an alternative, then why bother rubbing one out?

He also had a habit of making me feel absolutely miserable over the fact that I still enjoyed masturbating. Sex with him was so restrictive that many times I preferred to get myself off without him. He told me that I shouldn't have "needed" to since I had him around to have sex with.

He also didn't see the point of blowjobs. So what the fuck would that asshole know anyhow?

However, as I've started writing more for an audience, people that I normally would have never met are coming forward and saying things very similar to what he said. That masturbation is a waste of energy and that they'd much rather spend their time with the opposite sex than a few special minutes with themselves in the shower.

I don't get it. I think of masturbation as figuring out how your engine runs. You check all of the parts and figure out which switch turns on what. You learn what feels good and what you'd rather skip. Then you take that knowledge to the person that you've deemed worthy enough to share your bed with and hand them the manual... right?

I personally feel that those people who say that sex isn't satisfying enough for them are the people who haven't learned how to play with themselves. There are always going to be slower learners, those people who you need to spend extra one-on-one time with until they learn your ropes, but in the end, if you know what you're doing, you'll know how to properly teach the course.

My brain refuses to wrap around the idea that there are people out there who are asexual. All of us derive arousal from something. We HAVE to. Some of us are more base and get the majority of our positive sensations physically, and some others prefer to be turned on mentally. But it's there. Not admitting to it is denying it. Why would anyone want to deny something that would make them feel good?

There was a clip on Penn & Teller's series "Bullshit" where they talked about masturbation. A few of the people interviewed were virgins and said that they felt even masturbation was against their beliefs of waiting until marriage. HOLY FUCKING HELL! How can you enter into a contract without reading all of the fine print first??

Can a relationship be healthy without sex? Sure. But researchers keep repeating the same mantra. Sexual activity is the main thing that welds a bond between people. It's what helps to solidify the feelings of love and family. So couldn't the same idea be applied to masturbation? Isn't self-gratification the way to learn to love our bodies and build a sense of trust over what they are capable of doing?

Then there's the question of whether or not there's a limit to what would be a "normal" amount of masturbation. When does something move from healthy into a disturbed obsession? Personally, I feel that you should masturbate as many times as it takes to satisfy you. For some people that's once a day, for others 4 or 5. As long as you're not out hurting anyone, then what's the harm?

Well, aside from the damage that I've heard being done from hands that are calloused. Gives a whole new, abrasive meaning to the term "rubbing one out." Eek.

Discussion of the Day:

What are your personal beliefs/thoughts about masturbation? Is there ever a point when there becomes too much?

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