Lucky Girl

zara's picture


Wish I didn't care. Caring takes so much energy. And it makes things all hurty and confusing.

Tried to nap today, to put some thoughts out of my head or sort them better. Reminded myself of why I don't nap. It's going to take at least double the length of time of the nap before I feel like less than an extra on the cast of The Walking Dead. Ughhhhhh.

Too many highs and lows lately. Wasn't the medication supposed to make this more even?

And fuck you, universe. You are not a nice person. You are little and spiteful and mean. I don't care about your long-term intentions. I'm just sick and tired of you ripping out my spine and anally raping me with it.

How's that for some colorful hyperbole?

Countdown. Waiting for things to be over. Running, never to, always away from.

I'm happy for you, J. I am. But can I hate it at the same time?

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