Randomly Awesome

Sometimes I feel rather directionless. I've decided that Saturdays are the best day to unload that on all of you. Sit back, smile, and realize that I'm not always a self-analyzation junkie. As Lloyd Dobbler says to his sister:

"You used to be fun. You used to be warped and twisted and hilarious... and I mean that in the best way - I mean it as a compliment!"

Fuck yeah!

THINGS I THINK I THUNK :

* Why do people bother to spell out the .org in radio spots(ads)? Do they not realize that it sounds like they are saying orgy?

* If you have a set of utensils that are made out of gold, are they still called "silverware"?

* Fat people burn more calories doing aerobic activities than skinny people. So if you hate looking at a fat person, fuck them. They'll lose weight faster than if you fuck a skinny person.

* I think LMAO should be changed to LMSO. I've done laughed enough of my ass off, as a white girl, I can't afford to lose any more. My stomach could use some work though. So LMSO it is. And in that vein, no more PMSL. I wanna PMSF and really gross some people out.

* Boomer is the Peanut Butter, and I am the Jelly. I wanted to be the Peanut Butter, but I don't have any nuts.

* Is it just me, or have you noticed that cats only barf in the middle of the night? And that the sound of it always wakes you up, even from a dead sleep?


AND NOW WE PRESENT..... E-MAILS FROM THE AWESOME BOX!!!

" adding me would be in the best interest of all humanity...it is not your friendship i'm interested in, it's being a part of my audience."


" love the tood...love the pictures"

" You are not at all awesome.
You're 27? get a life! Get off your computer."

" you're cute... i said it.
i may not be the first one
but there is nothing new under the sun so wtf right?
stop by and piss me off any time...
i am not trying to pick you up i am taken
i try to be honest on my good days! " (I really liked this one!)

"now i see why you are one of the most popular blogs on here. you are very engaging. i like that familar tune of writing you use.
well come"

" Your picture was so funny.You have the coolest picture of them all."

" wow i think your pretty popular wow"

" how u doing, whats up, u seem vewry interesting to say the least, how are ya, jsaut looking to make a friend..."

" OK so I did a little reading and damn your fucked . HA but that's ok soo am I. You and I have something in common. I think we torture ourselv's cause well we like it . I may be far as to say I enjoy being a freak that find's soulessness in his own misery. But my misery loves company. You say your half Evil why is that ? I am sure you put it some where in your profile but i like to ononly read a little . well i am off now hope ta hear from ya"

"Your a nut... No, no, my bad... "You're" a nut."

" I like your space. You truly are AWESOME."

" i like your honesty which makes quite interesting reading but am on a completely different page to you in the conclusions i draw and how i respond to situations."

" you have a brain .....yes you are awesome....your not one of those gurls that has no substance to them what so ever that I can't stand to be breathing the same air...sorry ...most women urk me ....I hve female friends but they are limited and they are very intelligent ....anyhow ...HI HI HI....talk to you soon ..."

" AwesomeZ
My friends and I read your blogs just about everyday and we rather enjoy them, we agree with you far more than disagree and wonder how someone your age has the insight and wisdom you have. Keep on putting your blog's out there and maybe more and more people will catch on. Your writing style is also terrific!"

" Happy days. I very much like your writing, and I fully support the screed against the PimpBoy and all the other Shitheads who seem drawn to online communities for no other reason than to be annoyed by them.
Keep writing. We're reading"

" friendship?..feel free 2 read my rather feeble and ill admit slighty immature blogs"

" Hey, yer fuckin funny. Read my shit? The word for the day is detritus."

" really enjoy your blog; puts a smile on my face when i read it. thanks for putting up with all the shit on myspace to put yours up.
cheers"

" Liked your Cunning Linguist blog. What if I tell you though that not only do I give great massages but I also polish the pearl a brilliant white? And just out of curiousity, how many less messages have you received from guys now that you have made known your distaste for being a buffet."

" stole your profile song...... great tune... any way i was wandering.."will you be my friend?". chat later"

" Will you please talk to me." MOMENTS LATER: " And please put me down as your friend. thank you" THIS CAME FROM A GU WHO HAD EARLIER SENT: " i wont you"

" Hi,
I found you a few months back, I put you in my favorites and stop in from time to time to check on you.
I enjoy you very much.
I just read your whiners blog, on a day when I needed it. I just found out that my moms cancer has come back. I was hopeful that we could hold it off until I got out of nursing school. So much for hopes, but I am sure we will make it because we are survivors. She taught me that. Not in her words but in her actions. I didnt even know it growing up....I do now.
It is difficult going form the son role to the care giver role. I have done it before and am facing it again. There are some unaswered questions of "how", but I will do what she did when I was a kid.....What ever it takes.
I appreciate your work and words, you are wise beyond your years, we need more of you in the world.."

" i am a 32 yr old f. from maryland write back"

" hey girl whats up my name is sara im twenty four and have a little girl i read alot of your blog's and i think they are tight hit me back and add me to your friends if u want"

" Beautiful, smart, and awesome...just the way I likes 'em!
Be my friend Amesome Zara because you are the coolest girl in school. With your awesomeness and my mightiness, we MAY just be able to take over the world...
Eh? What do ya say?"

" Your blogs are pretty interesting... But, I think you may have met your match. At least as far as how vivid and vulgar they can get. Take a look at my blogs and profile."

" i love blowjobs.
thank you.
:)"

" I'm Cyrus. You don't know me. You're very beautiful and I just thought that expression you have on your face for your main pic was hilarious. Thanks for the smile and take care."

" For someone who prides themself on their (not there) grammar, I must say your molestation of English syntax is truly awful. "




OK.... So I got bored after going through the first 50 pages. There were more weird ones in there, but they're usually blog-length themselves, and I can't cut them apart, because they're too damn hilarious as one entire rambling piece.

*STRETCH*

Mitch won't do the "tag" blog. Go pester him and tell him that his favorite hooker lover wants him to do it. Tell him that Awesome people are allowed to break the rules. Tell him that he owes it to me. He knows why he owes it to me. Tell him that I'll just call him up crying everyday until he does it.

And everyone go wish my Punkass the best on his upcoming move and stand-up gig. He could use the encouragement.

As always... you people ROCK!!!