What the hell was the duck doing in there?

I have very detailed dreams. Vivid, intense dreams that sometimes parallel what's going on in my everyday life and sometimes come out of the fucking blue. There is rarely a night when I will go to sleep and not have even a short dream. That might happen when I'm dog-faced sick but even then my dormant mind usually concocts something out of the medicinal haze that I've put it under in order to sleep with a clogged nose.

The majority of the time my dreams are sex related. Big surprise, huh?

I've had dreams about fucking my former bosses, my various coworkers or fellow students over the years, even the odd dream about screwing a friend of the family. And this is an interesting bit of news for some people, but if you're my friend, chances are I've fucked you nocturnally at some point.

In my dreams I am ardently bi-sexual. Hell, I'd classify it more as try-sexual, since I've tried having sex with everything in my dreams, usually succeeding. I've fucked cars, pieces of furniture, kitchen utensils. I've had sex with animals, although to my credit I'm generally an animal at the time as well. Not surprisingly, I'm usually not the same animal as the one that I am bumping fuzzy uglies with. Go figure.

There are a few people that I dream about having sex with on a regular basis. I started thinking about this when I woke up this morning. While I am currently very excited about an impending visit from a good friend, I had a rousing fuck-fest in my sleep with a different friend last night.

I've dreamt regularly about doing the deed with this buddy, for over a year now. That's not all that special. I've had long term fantasies about people in the past. The thing that gets me scratching my cranium is the fact that the sex I have with this person is always rather violent in nature. We're slamming up against the walls, biting, clawing, slapping, scratching... It's like a girl fight gone wild and including a penis that isn't made of rubber.

Why my subconscious mind believes that sex with this person would be physically brutal is beyond me. We've never fully disclosed personal styles to one another, outside of the basic outlines detailed in various blog comments. He's the kind of guy who snarls around the edges but is injected with cream filling. Sweet enough to make your teeth ache.

I'm not going to spiral out of control and discuss the intricacies of dreams, where they're spawned from and what makes them what they are to us. I just wanted to state that if he fucks anything like his dream self does, I'm even more jealous of his girlfriend than I had been to begin with.

That, and dreaming about fucking violently doesn't disturb me as much as the dreams about lost love and dead people. Hell, about anything romantic in general.

Romance may never be trashy, but somehow it just ends up making me feel dirty.

But ass fucking? Bring that shit on!