A pussy cat, that is.

I want to lay around all day, sleeping in the path of a sunbeam that's cast in through an open window.

I want to be able to lick myself in places that would be hard to get to as a human female.

Anyone else here ever had a dream where you're fucking someone that, in real life, the thought of seeing naked makes you ill?

Ever notice that when you do have one of these dreams, that undesirable person is unfuckingbelievable in bed?

*grumble grumble grumble*

(Rereading this from my other blog site was pretty damn funny. I just had to add it here, after all of the lovely feedback y'all have been giving me. I never stay angry/pissy/negative for very long (short attention span, foil would be enough to distract me) and I just wanted to give everyone the heads up, although I'm not feeling all chitty-chatty, so forgive the lack of proper responses to e-mails.)

Went to a party for an 8 year old today. Innnnnteresting. Observations:

* Racially mixed children have to be the most beautiful kids ever. I saw more colours represented today than you would find on a Sherman Williams paint chart. I think society is finally making progress. And side note? These kids were also some of the nicest, smartest, most well-spoken children I've met. Their parents have a lot to do with it, but damn. Made me like people a little bit more again.

.... that it's a blonde driving that SUV?


* The two kids running after it, screaming "MOM! WAIT!!"


See? I don't have a problem with blonde jokes. I do have a problem with the fact that my profile was unaccessable to me for about 6 hours yesterday and because of that hardly anyone read my blog: "Insert Punny Blonde Joke Here"

In the last two days, I've discovered something that I never realized was a major turn-on for me.

A Myspace page with no mods.


You see, over the last two and a half days, I've been rifling through the profiles of random Myspacers, looking for people who appeared interested in reading, writing or a good laugh. I made the decision that if I was going to make my blog more publicly accessable, I wanted people reading it that might actually give a damn about what I was writing. So I proceeded to give myself a headache every night, blinking through tears at the seizure-inducing flashing wallpapers, cringing at "About Me" sections that contained nothing but Tinker Bell icons, Brad Pitt photos and surveys answering crucial questions such as: Have you ever skinny dipped?

Something occurred to me today as I was mindlessly leafing through some celebrity rag and came across a picture of Ben Affleck. I figured out what it will take to get his career back on track. Listen up, Ben: