Rants About Women
Whoa.... Man

Curious thing has happened to me recently that I haven't yet been able to fully figure out. I'm actually starting to like women.
Where a Woman's Value Lies: My Life Lesson to Midget

Well, Midget… your birthday's coming up soon, so I suppose it's about high time that I taught you the lesson that you would have had to learn on your own. We all know that whatever we learn can't really be used to help those who haven't been there yet. Everyone's got to go through their own heartbreak when the time comes, but I thought I'd put it out there for you to chew on. You're going to be 6. You'll need this information in about 10 years.
Rack 'Em Up!

My life always seems to revolve around one thing. Somehow, no matter how much I fight it or attempt to turn my back on it, there it is rearing its not-so-ugly head at me again.
Ew! I Just Got My Punctuation Mark!

I'm a girl. Every month the inevitable happens to me. I dance with my angry friend. He kicks me between the legs and makes me bleed. I really hate that fucker.
And I Don't Mean Female Dog

I, my friends, am a bitch.
I am not alone either.
All in a Name: Girlie Edition

My name translates into either "dawn" or "morning star" depending on where you look. But the more interesting thing for me to find out would be to see what my name really means. By that, I'm referring to the image that the name Zara brings up in people's minds. Are Zara's wacky? Zany? Psychotic bitches? I dunno. The problem is that there are really too few of us to have garnered a generalization.
There are other female names out there though, that are in enough of an abundance that I've formulated an opinion on. I've found that the following about each name has been pretty consistant of those that bear the names that have come into my life. This is all in fun folks, so if you get offended over anything I say... remember that you're more than welcome to generalize Zaras as well...
The Twins and Their Trappings

I love bras. I love pretty, lacy, delicate bras. I love bras with animal print. Bras in bold colored satin. Bras that enhance. Bras that make butt-like cleavage. Bras that cradle my tits so well, make them look so good, that I can't help but feel myself up while I'm wearing them.
Why Women Fucking Suck (The Part that Was Cut Off)

Personally, I think that we could solve all of this by putting everyone, men as well as women, to a productivity test. We take someone who is good at their job to determine the baseline. Then we do time studies of everyone as they do that job. If you perform the task in 75% of the time that it took the good worker to do it, then you get 75% of the pay. If you do it faster, you get more. That way everyone could just shut the fuck up about it.
Why Women Fucking Suck

I don't trust women very well. I want to, but I haven't had a great track record with female friends over the years. I thought I would compile a list of the reasons why women suck for your amusement.