Rants About Sex
Roll Over Fucks
I'm glancing at my cell phone bill the other day, attempting to calculate how I managed to rack up as many roll over minutes that I have, especially considering that my coworker who loves to point out
"She needs you to smack her on the bottom..."
There's an undercurrent flowing steadily inside of me. It started a couple of days back and seems hell bent on driving me insane until it is appeased.
What the hell was the duck doing in there?
I have very detailed dreams. Vivid, intense dreams that sometimes parallel what's going on in my everyday life and sometimes come out of the fucking blue.
A little diddle
The last guy that I had sex with was named after one of the Chipmunks.
Gimme a Boob! Gimme a dick! Gimme it all!
I was thinking about something today. I really like dick. I like the shape of it, the smell of it, the juice that it produces.
A Little Rambling Diatribe on Porn Stars
I was over at my friend Stacy's house this past weekend for UFC 66, otherwise known as the night that Liddell beat the crap out of my Tito and cost me a picture of my ass (shut up, you fucking hillbilly!) and something interesting occurred to me. As the room (divided about 60/40 men to women ratio) started to debate whether or not Jenna Jameson was going to be ringside, I found it amusing that not a single woman seemed offended at the idea of a porn star getting such massive attention. In fact, I think I've yet to meet a woman who doesn't like Jenna.
You Can Keep Your Brotherly Love
I did a lot of movie watching this weekend. One of the flicks that I watched detailed a strange car crash and the circumstances that followed between two brothers and the surviving female from the crash. The story itself wasn't what caught my attention as much as the fact that the brothers had sex with the same woman. Both knew about it, the sex was going on at the same time and no one seemed to be bothered by it in the slightest.
I Prefer Carpet Under My Feet and Not in My Face
[ Week of Brevity: Day Three, Take Two
Just to remind everyone, the challenge is this: A week of topics that I have a strong opinion on, limited to one paragraph (No more than 7 sentences). All of my responses to comments must be one sentence. ]
The Kind of Facial You Just Can't Get From Mary Kay
[ Week of Brevity: Day Three
Just to remind everyone, the challenge is this: A week of topics that I have a strong opinion on, limited to one paragraph (No more than 7 sentences). All of my responses to comments must be one sentence. ]
What I Learned About Sex By Walking in on My Parents
One time, when I was around 6 or 7 years old, I woke up in the middle of the night because I heard some strange sounds. Creeping out of my bedroom and going in search of where they were coming from, I discovered their location to be behind my parent's bedroom door. I quietly turned the knob and cracked the door open. My parents were in a tangle under the sheets. The sounds were coming from them.
