Rants About Sex
I Prefer Carpet Under My Feet and Not in My Face
[ Week of Brevity: Day Three, Take Two
Just to remind everyone, the challenge is this: A week of topics that I have a strong opinion on, limited to one paragraph (No more than 7 sentences). All of my responses to comments must be one sentence. ]
The Kind of Facial You Just Can't Get From Mary Kay
[ Week of Brevity: Day Three
Just to remind everyone, the challenge is this: A week of topics that I have a strong opinion on, limited to one paragraph (No more than 7 sentences). All of my responses to comments must be one sentence. ]
What I Learned About Sex By Walking in on My Parents
One time, when I was around 6 or 7 years old, I woke up in the middle of the night because I heard some strange sounds. Creeping out of my bedroom and going in search of where they were coming from, I discovered their location to be behind my parent's bedroom door. I quietly turned the knob and cracked the door open. My parents were in a tangle under the sheets. The sounds were coming from them.
Not So Bright of an Afterglow
Now that the fucking is over, can I bring out my fight bell and give it a ring?
You - go to your corner. Me - this is my corner. Take a breather, get some water poured over my head by a doting assistant, perhaps smear some more Vaseline on... um... anyhow.
And Now.... On With the Intercourse!
The point of fucking is to have an orgasm, right?
I've argued this concept many times, trying to explain that my orgasm shouldn't be the focal point of a sexual encounter, but with all of the headlines blaring from the covers of Cosmo, etc, men are really beginning to believe that sex isn't complete until the girl has gotten her cookies.
The Blog About Condoms
I don't like 'em.
Strike that. I pretty much hate the fucking things. (Best pun EVA, by the way.)
"My girl don't go for smokin' and liquor just make her flinch..."
I have penis envy.
Yup, as much as I enjoy my fun-to-play-with boobies and my intense female orgasms, there are days when I wish I could trade them in for a pee-pee.
Let's Go Offroading!!
I grew up in a town highly populated by Hispanics and subsequently, Catholics. The mentality of most of the girls that I went to school with was that their virginity was supposed to be "saved" for marriage. Many of them belonged to "promise" groups where they would pledge to remain virgins until after their nuptials.
And a One, And a Two, And a 3some...
Three's company. Three's a crowd. Buy three, get one free.
Oh, yeah. And the almighty threesome.
What is it with us as a nation that we need to over-consume? We buy huge amount of food from Costco, drive Hummers that get 3 miles to the gallon on the freeway and need American Idol to be aired more than one night a week. Gimmee, gimmee, gimmee. Just can't get enough.
Do Not Defecate Where You Consume Nutrients
I have a friend who has made a big mistake. Because of his big mistake, I have taken to referring to him as "Shits Where He Eats." What exactly is this friend's big mistake that would earn him such a nickname?
