Did you hear me?
I called out to you with my mind.
Numbers 1:58 branded into the backs of my eyeballs.
And my mind screamed out.
Put me in a bubble.
Surrounded, trapped, but alone.

It's short, but it was in my head today. I'm not having a great day but on the same hand it's not horrible. There's really nothing worse than indifference. I hate it when I stop caring.

Baby, baby, why you gotta be so mean?
Why you gotta throw curve ball after curve ball at me?
Why you gotta take the sun and scorch my eyes?
Baby, baby, why you always gotta tell me lies?

Dug my hand into a pocket of memories
Pulled out a piece of you
Every time I think I've found blindness
I discover shades of blue.

Fingerprints scattered
In places still unseen

I want all of the special feelings
All the memories
And late night chest heavings

I want them all to fade away.
Not return
Never see the light of day.

I want big fake smiles

I came in the shower
At five past the hour
And immediately started to cry

My legs weren't through quaking
My clit remained aching
Still I howled at the tiles, "Why oh why?"

You send a conflicting message
At least on this receiving end
You think you're getting through to me
Accuse me of not getting you
But getting you has nothing to do

People have some strong opinions about me. It's been going on my entire life. I wouldn't say that I aim for people to either love me or hate me, but I will admit that I loathe indifference. Perhaps that's why so few people fall in that middle ground where I'm concerned.